Laura Kay House's Blog

A new study suggests loneliness is a significant factor in our overall health and well-being. According to a recently published report in the Archives of Internal Medicine, loneliness after age 60 is linked to physical decline, Alzheimer’s Disease, depression and even death, according to researchers at the University of California at San Francisco.

How do you make friends when you are post 55 and all the channels toward friendship seem to have evaporated? Making friends is easy when you are in school. Everyone is the same age, lives in the same place, and the fishing pond is filled with people with whom you share interests and values.

What comes next is a hodge-podge: You collect friends from the different parts of your life. You become friends with the people at work — again, a pool of people with common interests if not common ages. And you become friends with neighbors — people who generally match your age and socio-economic community: If you rent in a building with single professionals, that’s who you meet; if you buy in the suburbs where all the young families live, you will find other young families. When you become a parent, friendships are formed with the other parents. You meet them on your kids’ sports teams, at school, and enrichment classes you sign your kid up for like karate and ballet.

But, then the kids grow up and much of what you had in common with many of your friends — your children — disappears from your social life. Or, maybe you have moved to a new area to live closer to your adult children or to retire. What do you do to make friends when you are post 55?  Mind you, we’re not talking about dating here — online or otherwise. Where do you find men and women to hang out with when your own old friends are scattered to the wind?  E-mail, Skype and Facebook can keep you in contact with long-distance old friends, but they aren’t around to grab a cup of coffee with or go hiking with on Sunday morning.

Making friends at this transitional point in our lives is critical to our overall happiness. Barbra Streisand sang it correctly: People who need people are the luckiest people, and I don’t think she was talking about virtual friends. We need people around us –friends to go out to dinner with, catch a movie with, laugh with.

Here are a few suggestions of how to make friends after 55:

• Follow Your Interests:  Like to play tennis?  Find a tennis group in your area. Interested in bike riding?  Join a bicycle group and enter a race. Enjoy attending the theater?  Join a group that offers theater outings.  No one ever met anyone from watching TV on the couch!
• Stay Local- Join a group or activity that is in your area.  You will be more inclined to go, if you don’t have to drive an hour to get there.
• Become A Joiner- Even if you have not always been one to join groups or be a part of a club- now is the time to change that.  Get yourself out there.
• Make The Effort- If you meet someone at an event or activity, don’t be shy about asking for an email or phone number.  You can then get together again.  It may feel a bit awkward, but you never know unless you try.  “Hey, I really enjoyed talking to you. Would you maybe want to get together for coffee or a drink?” The worst they can say is no.
• Be Open To Differences- Not everyone is going to be exactly like you or have the same background or life choices.  Be open to those who are diverse and bring something special to the table.
• Invest In Your Happiness- You may have to spend a little money to join a group or sign up for a class.  Look at it as an investment in your health and happiness. The benefits can be worth so much more and outweigh any cost.
• Sign-up, Show Up!  There may be times that you don’t feel like making the effort to go out  and meet new people.  Friends will not find you – you have to be out there and make it happen!   If you join a membership or activity group, you will not have something in common with everyone, but chances are you will find some people who you will click with.  Once you go ahead and make yourself go, you will be so glad you did!  And who knows what great friends are out there, just waiting to meet you!

Article Contributor  A. Brenoff

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections, located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, personal service, quality members and connections for age 55+ (mostly Boomers!) active and single adults. 

http://www.silverconnections.org

No man is an island

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.  

It is true that no man (or woman!) is an island; we thrive on relationships, with our friends, coworkers, acquaintances and family members. We all need a sense of belonging, of oneness other human beings, and this is why we socialize. And although we tend to interact with others during our teenage and early adult years, we need an active social life more than ever as we grow older. If you’re 55+, it’s important that you maintain a strong network of connections because:

• It gives you a sense of belonging: The feeling of loneliness and being left out gets stronger as you retire from work life and as your kids grow up and start to live their own lives. Your life changes, and if you’re not able to accept these changes and reorient your life accordingly, you will have difficulties.  When you continue to socialize and go out and meet people often, you feel good about yourself and are more confident in your abilities. Besides this, you also don’t think of your age or view it as a limiting factor.

• It keeps illness away: Individuals who are age 55+ and live alone are more prone to illnesses like Alzheimer’s and dementia. The more you socialize and meet and interact with people, the more you use your mind and keep that brain working via conversation and interaction.  Loneliness can cause depression and have a detrimental effect on your physical health, causing blood pressure issues, a compromised immune system and more.

• It helps you stay relevant: When you keep in touch with other people and meet up with them on a regular basis, you keep up with what’s changing and what’s new. This helps you stay relevant and keep up with the times. It prevents you from feeling left out because you’re able to hold a conversation relating to any current news and information. It boosts your confidence and does a world of good for your self-esteem.

• It puts you in a good frame of mind: Meeting people and socializing on a regular basis makes you feel happier and more content with your life. You have a sense of purpose and a reason to live. When you’re alone, you tend to feel depressed and sad if you’re not busy. Meeting friends and acquaintances helps boost your mood and puts you in a better frame of mind. 

An organization such as Silver Connections  has the primary goal of providing quality socializing opportunities through events and travel to those who are single and age 55+, along with the ability to introduce members to each other promoting friendship.  As human beings, we are not meant to be alone all the time.  We need one another and activities to look forward to – for happiness, health and quality of life.

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections, located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, quality members and connections for age 55+ (mostly Boomers!) active and single adults. 

http://www.silverconnections.org

Current day baby boomers enjoy dining out, visiting museums, outdoor activities, traveling and remaining active. Baby boomers, in general, are in better physical health than their predecessors, and they have the desire to remain in an active lifestyle. However, isolation and depression can occur when an individual lacks outings to look forward to or friends to share in activities.  Both men and women can experience this, but how do baby boomer men deal with socializing differently than their female counter part?

While there are many theories surrounding the development of gender roles, one fact is unquestionable: men and women are socialized differently. Men use socializing as a means to an end while women socialize because they are social at heart.

Often times, a man’s wife is his confident and the one he feels he can open up to the most. A husband tends to rely on his wife for all of his intimacy and friendship needs.  A woman, on the other hand, may have several women friends that she shares her feelings and confidences with.  When a man loses his wife, especially to death, it is much harder for him to find that support and that “friend” he may have had when he was married.

If you ask many male baby boomers how many true friends he has made over his lifetime, you’re likely to get a reply of fewer than five.   There is no doubt that baby boomer men know many people, especially related to work, their children’s sports activities or possibly through church,  but they do not count them as “friends” or do they socialize with many of these acquaintances.  Instead, they often prefer to do things alone or with their family.

One explanation of the baby boomer man’s seemingly anti-social behavior is that they are also more comfortable when social efforts revolve around activities and interests.  When two men get into an initial discussion, they seek to find out if they have a common interest.  Unlike women who seek to learn everything about the individual, men seek to learn if there is a common activity enjoyed between them in order to further their discussion.

For the most part, men lack the desire to be social compared to women and it takes a bit of coaxing to have them see that it is necessary for both mental and physical health.  Many boomer men use online social networks, in large part, for promoting business and establishing contacts that can help in generating new business.  The online social network “LinkedIn” was initially used by men for the purpose of searching out colleagues and contacts in organizations that they otherwise would not have access to; purely intended to promote their career and business, not with the primary purpose of socializing.  Men are now beginning to warm up to social groups that have organized group activities where you actually meet others face to face rather than online social networks where the purpose is to connect with “virtual” people.

Regardless of gender, as baby boomers age and possibly become single due to divorce or death of a spouse, the need for meeting others in the same age group increases.  This may also be the time when many individuals leave behind much of their social life if they leave their employment.  Without social contacts, men especially, find that single life or retirement can often be lonely and difficult.  Many consider reentering the work place just for the social aspects of working.

Making friends after 55 can be a challenge, especially for men, but it can be accomplished with great rewards.  In Silver Connections, I have seen great friendships develop, between both men and women, that have had a truly positive impact on overall well-being.

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections, located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, quality members and connections for age 55+, active and single adults. 

http://www.silverconnections.org

Contribution by ActiveBoomer.com

.

What if you knew that everything was going to be OK? That life would work out just fine, maybe even infinitely better than that.

In youth, there is the wonder of so much possibility, but also the anxiety of the unknown. And so, as we get older, and the dust settles around the choices we’ve made and the dreams that were and weren’t realized, we relax. The restlessness of youth gives way to acceptance.

A study released this month by the National Council on Aging (NCOA), United Healthcare, and USA Today, found optimism among baby boomers, who felt the best years of their lives were still before them.

“People put things into perspective,” says Richard Birkel, who leads NCOA’s Center for Healthy Aging. The challenges that occupy so much of life — careers and relationships, for example — become either moot or manageable among those age 55+, he says, noting that 90 percent of survey respondents reported confidence in their ability to handle stress.

What was found in interviewing seniors, the thought  ”If I got through some tough life events already intact, I have confidence that I will be able to adjust to pretty much anything,” Birkel says.

Bottom line: The drama of youth subsides with age. Just think about your first love. You likely felt wild highs and crushing lows on experiencing such intense emotions, without having developed the coping skills or perspective to handle them. That may explain why most people say they’d never want to return to the roller-coaster ride of their youth. In fact, surveys have found that when asked about their ideal age, people in their 70s say they’d like to be just 10 years younger, says Laura Carstensen, director of the Stanford Center on Longevity.

It’s what’s known as “the paradox of aging,” Carstensen says. “There’s a lot of tough things that come with aging, and people still report that they’re doing fine.” What’s happening is a shift in outlook. Despite, and perhaps because of, the trials of losing loved ones and physical duress, those over 55 focus on the bright side of life. Aging produces a “linear decrease” in negative emotions, like anger and stress alongside an emergence of appreciation for life, she says, “so people are better off emotionally — there’s no question there.”

Researchers have mapped happiness according to a “U-shaped” curve over the course of one’s life. People’s sense of well-being drops in mid-life, and climbs after about age 50, according to several, wide-ranging studies, which ascribe mid-life malaise to the demands of children and aging parents along with the realization of ambitions unmet.

However, the goals that emerge later in life tend to involve emotional satisfaction and, therefore, help bring it about, says Carstensen, explaining that where we put our attention dictates what we see and don’t see. Or to quote Oprah, “What we dwell on is who we become.” For those age 55+, who tend to focus on savoring precious moments, “that’s why they’re looking at the beautiful sunrise” or into their grandchildren’s eyes, Carstensen says. Younger people, on the other hand, often need to focus on the future instead of the present, studying organic chemistry, for example, to become a doctor, or slogging through a singles event in the hopes of meeting a mate, she explains.

But do we have to wait until our golden years to attain the wisdom for well-being? Nope.

Most people can benefit from a number of tactics to boost their satisfaction in life. Research has shown that performing positive acts such as writing letters of gratitude, socializing, counting one’s blessings, performing acts of kindness, and meditating produce positive emotions, according to Sonja Lyubomirsky, a psychology professor at the University of California — Riverside and author of “The How of Happiness.”

Carstensen suggests trying to live in the moment. When faced with life’s daily hassles, find perspective by asking yourself this ultimate question, she says: “Is this going to matter on the last day of your life?”

And meanwhile, know that, while every stage of life has its ups and downs, there is plenty to look forward to as we grow older. “There’s something about being at an age where you know what you’ve been dealt in life–and it’s OK.  There are still good things to look forward to.  And, this brew of satisfaction is richer and deeper and more complex than the emotions that a 20-year-old can ever imagine.”

Excerpts/Content taken from Huff Post- Post 50

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections,located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, quality members and connections for age 55+, active and single adults. 

http://www.silverconnections.org

Being a senior today vs. sixty years ago, could not be more different.  Individuals in pictures from the 1940’s and 1950’s, who were 65, often looked at least ten years older than what we consider to be someone in their 6′th decade today.  Women, many times, wore a gray bun in the back of their head,  had on an apron and appeared much more feeble.  Those over 55+ in 2012,  are still living life to its fullest as long as good health prevails.  They are remaining active for many years.  They often look and feel much younger than their chronological age. Many still work full-time and stay busy in their leisure time.  They travel, go to the gym, dance and even bungee jump.

These members of the Baby Boom generation are turning 65 at a clip of roughly 10,000 per day. Even so, the generation famous for being at the center of the “youth culture” of the ’60s, doesn’t particularly like to think of itself as old.  Senior citizens? According to boomers, the term refers to their parents, the World War II generation, not the folks who could have gone to Woodstock. So even though Baby Boomers love getting a deal as much as the next person, they hate the idea of getting a “senior discount”—which is tantamount to accepting the fact that they’re officially old.

A Hartford Courant Columnist recently covered the odd phenomenon, in which Baby Boomers are torn between wanting a discount for their seniority in the population and refusing to admit to senior status:

“There is definitely a different mindset between boomers and the World War II generations and the language you use encapsulates everything,” says Jo Ann Ewing, senior services coordinator for the town [of East Hampton, CT]. “Many individuals in their 70s and 80s are fine with ‘senior’ status, while baby boomers mostly are not.”

The solution, from a business point of view, may be a silly game of semantics. Restaurants, associations, and various businesses often replace the phrase “senior discount” with something less overtly age-based, so as not to turn off the lucrative boomer customer base. The AARP welcomes “members” (not “seniors”) starting at age 50, and all the perks are referred to as ”member benefits” not senior benefits or senior discounts.

Marketing to boomers can be tricky business, especially when the products and services at hand are clearly intended for people struggling with the aging process. BusinessWeek pointed out that contractors expect that the renovating of Baby Boomers’ homes will be a huge business going forward, with boomers increasingly in need of “age-appropriate remodeling” ranging from toilet grab bars to elevators. But contractors must be careful how they propose such projects.

To varying degrees, age-appropriate updates are necessary should boomers want to stay safely in their homes as they get older. And yet, “Nobody wants their home to look like a hospital facility,” says Bill Millholland, an executive at the remodeling firm Case Design. This is especially the case for a generation that doesn’t like to think of itself as old, let alone aged and dying.

A separate issue entirely is whether or not boomers or seniors actually deserve discounts simply because they’ve managed to reach the age of 50, or 62, or 70. A lively discussion on the topic came after USA Today published an op-ed arguing that all senior discounts should be killed because, by and large, older folks are wealthier than the average citizen, and it’s the young who are essentially subsidizing the discounts enjoyed by their older, richer counterparts.

What do you think of the word “senior?”   Do you have a good name to redefine this demographic?    And, do you think once you have reached a certain age, that you should receive certain discounts or not?

It truly seems that today, 65 is the new 55 and at 75, you are really 65!    This is good news for those who want to live life to its fullest and are not ready to sit in a rocking chair and age quietly.

Contribution By Brad Tuttle of  TIME

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections, located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, quality members and connections for age 55+, active and single adults. 

   The average life expectancy in the U.S. is 78.5 years — and by now we all know that certain healthy behaviors might help to extend that figure, whether it’s exercise, nutrition, or even little everyday habits. But, could your personality affect how many birthdays you celebrate? Maybe so, according to a body of research evaluating the role our outlooks can play in life span. Of course, it’s important to remember that many factors, from genetics to lifestyle, work together to determine life expectancy — but researchers have found that these six personality traits, in particular, are more common in those who lead longer lives.

As the owner of Silver Connections, I particularly agree with # 3 and research is continuing to prove how important social connections are to our physical and mental health. But, all of the traits below are seen as part of contributing to a longer life span.  How many traits do you have?

CONSCIENTIOUS

In their 2012 book “The Longevity Project,” which looked at research over the course of 80 years, authors Howard S. Friedman and Leslie R. Martin identified an association between being conscientious and a longer life span. “Conscientiousness, which was the best predictor of longevity when measured in childhood, also turned out to be the best personality predictor of long life when measured in adulthood,” the authors wrote in their book. “The young adults who were thrifty, persistent, detail oriented, and responsible lived the longest.” Why do more prudent people tend to live longer? According to the authors, this group is more likely to take care of their health and avoid risks, and they also develop healthier relationships, whether it be romantic, friendly or work-related. “That’s right, conscientious people create healthy, long-life pathways for themselves,” Friedman and Martin wrote. And finally, the researchers point out that some people seem to have a biological predisposition toward a more careful personality. “While we are not yet sure of the precise physiological reasons,” they write, “it appears that conscientious and un- conscientious people have different levels of certain chemicals in their brains, including serotonin.”

EASY TO LAUGH   

In a study published this past May in the Journal of Aging, researchers from Albert Einstein College of Medicine and Yeshiva University pinpointed several personality traits linked to a longer lifespan. Among the list? Frequent laughter When we began working with centenarians, I thought we’d find that they survived so long in part because they were mean and ornery,” study researcher Dr. Nir Barzilai, M.D., director of Einstein’s Institute for Aging Research, said in a statement. “But when we assessed the personalities of these 243 centenarians, we found qualities that clearly reflect a positive attitude towards life.”

SOCIALLY CONNECTED

Thank your family and friends for this one: a 2010 study published in the journal PloS Medicine found that strong social relationships can boost survival odds by 50 percent. The Brigham Young University and University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill researchers evaluated 148 studies. “We take relationships for granted as humans — we’re like fish that don’t notice the water,” BYU’s Timothy Smith said in a statement about the findings. “That constant interaction is not only beneficial psychologically but directly to our physical health.” Socializing boosts the immune system, which wards off disease. “We’ve seen again and again that people who are lonely or socially isolated show signs of suppressed immunity,” says Ohio State University immunologist Ronald Glaser.

OPTIMISTIC

The same 2012 Aging study that identified frequent laughter as a boost to longevity also found that optimism might tack on years to your life. Out of the 243 centenarians evaluated in the research, most were optimistic and easygoing, study researcher Dr. Nir Barzilai, M.D., director of Einstein’s Institute for Aging Research, said in a statement. “Some evidence indicates that personality can change between the ages of 70 and 100, so we don’t know whether our centenarians have maintained their personality traits across their entire lifespans,” he said in the release. “Nevertheless, our findings suggest that centenarians share particular personality traits and that genetically-based aspects of personality may play an important role in achieving both good health and exceptional longevity.”

HAPPY    

Don’t worry, be happy, live longer? A study published last year in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences found that older people who report being happy have a 35 percent decreased risk of dying over five years. The researchers evaluated more than 3,000 people by monitoring their happiness throughout the day — they then followed up five years later to see how many had died. “I was a bit surprised that the happiness effect was so strong, even among people who had chronic diseases,” study author Andrew Steptoe, a professor at University College, London, told MSNBC.

EXTROVERTED

A 2009 study published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society looked at the offspring of centenarians (other research has found exceptional longevity tends to run in families) — the volunteers were typically in the high range for extroversion (and in the low range for neuroticism). “It’s likely that the low neuroticism and higher extroversion will confer health benefits for these subjects,” study author Thomas Perls, M.D., MPH, director of the New England Centenarian Study, said in a statement when the findings were released. “For example, people who are lower in neuroticism are able to manage or regulate stressful situations more effectively than those with higher neuroticism levels. Similarly, high extroversion levels have been associated with establishing friendships and looking after yourself.”

Possessing these simple personality traits, or incorporating these traits, may not only add to the quality of your life, but also years to your life span.

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections, located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, quality members and connections for age 55+, active and single adults. 

http://www.silverconnections.org

At one time or another, we have all suffered with a bout stage fright or shyness.  Generally once we learn these situations aren’t as scary as they may seem, we overcome our fright. For people who suffer with social anxiety, however, their symptoms go beyond common stage fright. In fact, these people may actually sequester themselves in their homes to avoid being in contact with the public.

Those who are age 55+, who have been recently widowed or divorced, may suffer even more from social anxiety or the fear of getting back out there again and forming new connections.  After being part of a couple for many years, it can be very difficult to begin socializing again alone. The comfort of that other person is no longer there. Also, many times an individual has wrapped themselves up in work and the routine and security that their career provided and now with retirement, must learn to socialize in non-work situations and make new friends.

Social anxiety, also called social phobia, is defined as the intense fear of scrutiny by other people in a social situation. Those suffering with social anxiety may also be afraid of doing something embarrassing or humiliating in public. The fear of public speaking is the most common social phobia, however, those afflicted with the disorder may also be fearful of going on a date, filling out a check in public, walking alone in front of a group of people or even having any interaction with people at all.

Those suffering with social phobia become flustered and embarrassed when they make common mistakes that others would be able to just brush off. Their body’s natural response to this embarrassment, such as blushing, causes them to become even more self conscious. To avoid feeling this embarrassment, they will avoid public places such as shopping malls, movie theaters and even churches.

Social phobia should not be confused with extreme shyness. While shy people are often not comfortable talking with or giving a speech to others, they do not suffer with the all encompassing anxiety that comes along with social phobia.   In fact, those suffering with social phobia may not be shy at all; they may be able to converse quite confidently with others in certain situations. It is only when they are faced with the situation that causes their phobia or fear that they become uncomfortable and anxious, and eventually withdraw.

One unique aspect of social phobia is that the sufferer realizes that his fears are unfounded. However, they are often unable to overcome their anxiety on their own. Without proper treatment, these people may retreat from all social interactions, eventually staying home alone.

Once diagnosed, however, those with social phobias respond well to treatment.   Like other forms of anxiety, treatments may come in the form of therapy, medications or a combination of the two. Cognitive behavior therapy may be used to help retrain the mind to properly recognize which situations are threatening and which are not. This type of therapy may also require the patient to face their fears and overcome them. A doctor may also prescribe anti-anxiety or antidepressant drugs to help the patient deal with the symptoms of anxiety.

Social anxiety can be devastating to the sufferer if they anxiety is not properly treated. The feelings of severe anxiety and fear can keep people from taking part in social situations and may even cause them to cut themselves completely off from other people. If treated properly, sufferers can experience relief from these symptoms and learn to live with their anxiety and enjoy an active, healthy social life.

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections, located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, quality members and connections for age 55+, active and single adults. 

http://www.silverconnections.org

The members of Silver Connections, who are mostly Boomers, are a perfect example of redefining what “age 55+” means today. They, like many others, are changing  past stereotypes of growing older and are leading the way in embracing new opportunities for aging well.

By Alexandre Kalache

I am a 65-year-old man. When my grandfather was my age, he carried a walking stick and was shuffling towards his grave. Happily, my own prospects  and those of many of this the world- 760 million people – who are over the age of 60 — couldn’t be more different. As the global population continues to age, the baby boomer generation is forcing society to rethink what it means to grow old.

This year’s UN World Health Day was on April 7′th and was dedicated to “Aging and Health”, highlighting the importance of this issue. Statistics show all too clearly why we cannot afford to stick our heads in the sand and continue to view older people as a sickly burden rather than a valuable resource. In more than 20 countries, life expectancy has climbed above 80. Globally, the number of people over 60 is expected to double to 2 billion, or 22 percent of the population, by 2050.

Yet despite this transformation, the way we approach old age remains rooted in out of date systems and patronizing stereotypes.  One hundred years ago, few people reached the age of 65, and those who did were likely to be in poor health. Economically speaking, it made sense to send them home with a small pension. It was more logical than retaining the worker when they were no longer physically able to be productive.

Now, we still deal with aging as if it was the 19th century.  It’s simply not sustainable to ignore that fact. There could possibly be  30 years of life after work and must be made productive. If not, the cost of maintaining a rapidly growing older population will have a devastating effect on younger generations, who simply won’t be able to generate the tax income to support older people’s quality of life and growing healthcare costs.

This does not mean stretching out full-time work so that we all continue doing 9-5 until we’re 95. We need an entirely different approach, something that recognizes that growing into old age is a long transition taking 20 or 30 years, rather than a sudden cutting off point. It should mean more flexibility in the workplace. It should include staggered retirements and a greater use of sabbaticals, so that an older person can go away for a year, recharge his or her batteries, and come back with more energy and new skills. The idea that older people clog up the workplace, depriving the young of their chance, is misguided: Research shows that for every three older people still in work, a vacancy opens up for a young worker because of the wealth created. Moreover, the older generation — many of whom have high educational levels and, for sure, a lot more experience than their younger peers — has an important role to play.

Us baby boomers are precisely the generation who are bringing about this revolution. Never before have we seen a cohort hitting the age of 65 who are so well-informed, so wealthy and in such good health. In the same way that my generation transformed adolescence into a protracted period of experimentation, creativity and rebellion, so too are we redefining what it means to age. We are witnessing the emergence of a “gerontolescence,” a new period of transition. We will not allow our rights to be ignored and that all we are fit for is a spot of light volunteering. Of course, there needs to be a proper safety net in place for the vulnerable, but more and more of us who are fit and healthy are insisting that we participate actively in the workplace, in society and in politics.

No country can afford to ignore the aging demographic. The risks are manifold, and are already unfolding around the world. In both the developed and developing world, pension schemes are under pressure, old people’s rights are overlooked and the global economy is being put under strain. If we fail to adapt to the new reality, we risk a social convulsion, a fracture dividing the generations which pits one set of interests against another.

Despite these challenges, aging has been one of the most important societal achievements of the 20th century, with 30 years added to life expectancy worldwide. Now we need to make sure that we capitalize on those years by making them as active as possible, for the sake of the individual and society. Baby boomers are leading the way, showing younger people that getting old is the best thing that can happen to them. There is only one alternative to aging. There are many alternatives to aging well.

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections, located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, quality members and connections for age 55+, active and single adults. 

All a part of aging well!

http://www.silverconnections.org

FROM ABC NEWS:

New research suggests that just sitting around and chatting with friends may help keep our brains fit enough to fight off mental decline, especially as we age.

Yakking it up with cohorts, it turns out, may keep the mental machinery well oiled.

We’ve heard for years about what’s supposed to happen as we get older. The old brain just doesn’t click along at the same speed, the memory begins to fail, and the biggest intellectual challenge of the day may be deciding which channel to watch.

The way to fight that, so we’ve been told, is to keep the old noggin busy. So millions turn to crossword puzzles, reading and various hobbies, and that’s supposed to help.

But to psychologist Oscar Ybarra of the University of Michigan, that picture looked very incomplete.

Ybarra was listening to the radio a few years ago when a report came on about all the things we can do to keep ourselves mentally sharper, like traveling and reading. But as a specialist in social cognition, Ybarra figured there was more to it than that.

“I thought about my grandparents, who lived to be quite old and remained quite lucid,” Ybarra says. “They tended to be very active socially, and I thought there was something else going on here.”

What was going on, he says, was the “mental gymnastics” that we all go through while interacting socially with others. We do it so often, and with seemingly so little effort, that we’re unaware of the fact that just simply socializing requires a strong mental commitment.

“Especially when you’re dealing with somebody you’re trying to understand,” Ybarra says. “You’re trying to figure out what motives they have, what beliefs they have. That takes a lot of mental energy.”

So Ybarra and colleagues from the University of Michigan and the University of Denver set out to determine if socializing really can help keep the brain in tune. In a new report, they say the answer is a resounding yes. And it doesn’t just work for th0se who are over 55.. They found that regardless of age, people who are more sociable suffer less mental decline than those who avoid social encounters.

“We have provided evidence showing that the degree to which people are socially engaged helps to sustain cognitive functioning,” the researchers concluded.

Our brains are “put to use when we do what comes naturally to us — interact with other beings,” they argue.

The researchers relied on three previous surveys of several thousand persons in the United States and four Middle Eastern countries, Bahrain, Egypt, Jordan and Tunisia. The participants, ranging in age from 24 to 100, were asked a wide range of questions concerning social activities, health, physical activity, and others. Then they were asked to solve problems involving memory and simple arithmetic to assess their mental abilities.

To determine how socially active they were, the participants were asked questions like how often they got together with friends and relatives, how often they talked on the phone, and how many people they knew with whom they could share their intimate feelings.

Regardless of age or nationality or ethnic origin or gender, the results were the same, Ybarra says. Those who were most active socially also showed less mental decline.

“The more participants were socially engaged, the less their cognitive impairment,” the researchers concluded.

One could argue that the researchers got it backwards. People who suffered less cognitive impairment remained more socially engaged, so which came first here, the chicken or the egg?

Other researchers have found that as people decline mentally, they also tend to withdraw, so it’s hard here to pin down the cause and the effect. Perhaps some are socially inactive because of mental decay, and perhaps some suffer from mental decay partly because they are socially inactive.

And Ybarra notes that such things as declining health and loss of income among the elderly can cause both social withdrawal and mental decline, making it more difficult to assess the contributions of social interaction.

Participants in the study who were judged to be physically attractive were found to be more socially active, and that’s probably because a lot of folks would rather talk with someone who is attractive  than a wallflower. The beautiful people also fared better in terms of mental decline, and the researchers think that’s attributable at least partly to all that socializing with people who were trying desperately to impress them.

Although the study didn’t address this directly, Ybarra suspects that who you are talking to may also make a difference. The mental workout can be more intense, he suggests, if the other person really matters to you.

“Some interactions are going to provide more of a workout than others,” he says. “I would think that just greeting the person who delivers the mail may not be as intensive as chatting with a good friend, or actually dealing with a hostile employer.”

One problem addressed only indirectly in the study deals with older adults who feel they are no longer taken seriously. That’s a common complaint from those who have to deal with grown children who have decided they can no longer do anything for themselves. Their opinions are rarely sought, and all too often, when they speak, no one listens.

That can lead to one serious result.

“If you don’t think you’re being taken seriously, you’re probably going to withdraw socially,” Ybarra says, thus robbing older adults of the social interaction that might help keep their brains alert.

The system works best, he says, when the conversation matters to both parties.

“That’s what provides the framework,” Ybarra says, “trying to understand other people’s minds.”

Laura Kay House, MA, is the founder and owner of Silver Connections, located in the Triangle area of North Carolina. Silver Connections provides numerous socializing opportunities through events and travel, quality members and connections for age 55+, active and single adults. 

http://www.silverconnections.org